chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
operation have a gay friend backfired
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize