Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He passed out mid-signature
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
