no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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