He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
