Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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