He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
