If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
