Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
