Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
