She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
