I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
