Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
