u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
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