Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
