forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
