Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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