At least make sure they are 18
Why
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
