she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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