Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
