hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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