Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
