Can Purell be used as lube?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
