so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I need a burrito and a hug.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
