no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
