I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
