I just found puke in my bra..
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
