Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
