Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
