Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
