Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
