How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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