I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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