Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The adults are the big ones right?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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