There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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