I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
