turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
