Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
