Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
