i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
