Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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