When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize