I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
