Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
