Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
