He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
