What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize