Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he thought i was a dude.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
