My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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