at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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