If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize