She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
MIDGETS
????
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
