I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
