You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
