were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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