i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
