so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
