Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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