I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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