What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
