Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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